How would Mary have celebrated her 17th birthday today? Well, I don’t know for sure. But I know that she would have enjoyed making her own homemade pizza with us tonight. (Or would she have chosen something else for her birthday meal?)
I know that she would have been glued to the TV or her computer watching the Olympics. She loved watching the 2012 Summer Olympics!
Whatever she would have chosen to do on her special day, Mary would have made the most of it because “every day’s a holiday with Mary” and she knew how to live joyfully — when she wasn’t grumpy, that is.
I just discovered that the photos below were ones that Mary took on August 6, 2012 — the day she became a teenager and the last birthday she would ever celebrate:
I also just noticed from these photos from her camera that Mary gave her beloved Gertie a bath on her 13th birthday (the beloved stuffed toy given to her by AnnaLeah so many birthdays before).
Notice the photos Mary took that same day of some of her favorite books (probably her birthday presents from AnnaLeah, whom I can’t ask to be sure) — including an American Girl one about a gymnast!
And I most definitely would not have launched a new petition on Mary’s birthday to ask NHTSA to mandate SIDE GUARDS on trucks so people wouldn’t die from going underneath the sides of trucks:
17 years ago, I was great with child: Mary Lydia Karth. Her due date had come and gone and I was more than ready to meet her & hold her.
Little did I know that 17 years later — instead of getting ready to celebrate her birthday — I would be relentlessly working to keep others from facing the same kind of truck crash tragedy which took Mary (13) and her older sister AnnaLeah (17) on May 4, 2013.
Photos: Very pregnant with Mary, Newborn Mary at the hospital, Mary meets her 8 older siblings at the hospital, AnnaLeah holding newborn Mary, Mary at 9 holding her newborn niece, May 4, 2013/The End of Their Earthly Journey, the girls’ headstone
In Christ Alone
(last verse)
No guilt in life, no fear in death, This is the power of Christ in me; From life’s first cry to final breath, Jesus commands my destiny. No power of hell, no scheme of man, Can ever pluck me from His hand: Till He returns or calls me home, Here in the power of Christ I’ll stand.
I know that AnnaLeah and Mary are “safe” in His hands forever. But that does not stop me from working where I can to reduce preventable needless deaths.
AnnaLeah wrote the screenplay for A Short Film which she and Mary then acted out:
And here’s a 72 minute LEGO movie that AnnaLeah wrote the script for and then produced with two of her siblings in 2008. It definitely shows how creative she was:
https://vimeo.com/7385266 (not accessible at present).
AnnaLeah staged a photoshoot of her sister Mary expressively “reading” a book which she had never actually read.
Each year in the U.S., around 33,000 people have their lives tragically ended.
PLEASE NOTE: If you sign the petition, be sure to go to your email. We the People will send you an email which will say this in the subject line: “Almost done! Verify your Petitions.WhiteHouse.gov account.” Follow the instructions to verify your signature.
When we got back home after the crash and were looking through our photo and video files, we found some short video clips of a short story which AnnaLeah had apparently written and which she narrated as Mary acted it out and Susanna filmed it with her digital camera in our backyard in Midland, Texas (circa 2009).
Remembering AnnaLeah (17) and Mary (13). Miss you every single day.
A Short Film Starring Mary & AnnaLeah; Screenwriter, AnnaLeah Karth
Somehow, this makes me smile and laugh every time I watch these two sisters in their silly, imaginative little film. It makes them seem so alive. How is it that they are gone from us?
Why on earth am I asking for another government-funded worker — a National Traffic Safety Ombudsman? And whatever would that person do anyway?
It would be a lot easier for you to understand if you were in my shoes. But I don’t want you to be in my shoes — continuing to grapple with the grief of losing a loved one in a preventable traffic crash. So I will try to describe, as briefly and clearly as I can, what I have in mind with this Traffic Safety Ombudsman Petition.
Basically, in the aftermath of losing two daughters, AnnaLeah (17) and Mary (13), due to a truck underride crash on May 4, 2013, we have discovered that millions have died in traffic crashes since the first one in 1898, that there are many reasons for that, and that trying to do something about those reasons is very difficult, time-consuming, and resisted. Meanwhile, while solutions are being delayed, people continue to die — often needlessly, because something could have been done to prevent their death, but was not.
There is often a political tug-of-war over these issues. An Office of National Traffic Safety Ombudsman (TSO) would be established to function outside of the political realm — untainted by the pressures of powerful lobbyists. Instead, the TSO would work with the existing government agencies, industry representatives, researchers, and safety advocates — listening to traffic safety concerns and speaking forth on behalf of matters of importance to traffic safety.
Currently, Traffic Safety is not even listed on whitehouse.gov as an Issue. This has got to change. It needs to become a national priority and we need an Advocate to listen to traffic safety concerns which are raised (in fact, actively seeking to make sure that they come to the surface) and then identify solutions and inform those who can do something about them.
Now I can do many things as an individual to raise national awareness about traffic safety issues. But my ability to motivate and facilitate change is way too limited. I don’t truly have the ear of leaders essential to the process. In fact, although my family and I have taken two petitions to Washington — with the agreement of thousands of people, they can too easily brush me away like a pesky fly. We need someone with the authority to demand an audience with the powers that be.
I have not heard one word from Washington, D.C., about our 20,000 Vision Zero Petition signatures. That’s a problem. Either they think they are already doing what that Petition requests (with which I would disagree) OR they don’t think that it is important enough to do anything about. That is something which we should all rise up about.
In fact, how I envision it is that the Traffic Safety Ombudsman would be the person to implement the requests of the Vision Zero Petition. Small businesses have a National Ombudsman. Why not do the same for the victims of tragic, preventable traffic crashes?
Makes sense to me. Because, really, who would be given the responsibility and authority to oversee these things otherwise?!
When I was reading my Bible this morning, I read a verse about Jesus ascending to sit at the right hand of the Father. What is He doing there? Advocating on our behalf, interceding for us, speaking to His Father and ours about our needs. Hmmmm, kind of like I would expect a Traffic Safety Ombudsman would do — only not in heavenly places (or not only) but getting the ear of those who can move heaven & earth to make our roads safer!
I don’t think that you need to worry about this costing the taxpayers a lot of money or creating an enormous new agency. Look at what our family has already done voluntarily and with the help of other concerned parties with our petitions and the Underride Roundtable, which we helped to organize, and the Tired Trucker Roundtable, which I have proposed. We have pulled together in communication and actual sit-down-together meetings diverse groups, such as government regulators, law enforcement, trucking industry, safety advocates, researchers, media, and victims. Organizations like the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety (IIHS) and the Truck Safety Coalition (with their non-governmental funds), along with citizen contributions, have helped to finance such events — without emptying the pockets of taxpayers.
The Traffic Safety Ombudsman would not be replacing the safety functions of the government or watchdog efforts of safety advocacy organizations. Rather, the TSO would be working with them and getting them to work together — with the goal of SAVING LIVES as their primary and, in fact, sole responsibility. And there would still be the need to raise national awareness and involve citizens in advocacy efforts through social media and my recommended national network of Vision Zero/Traffic Safety Community Action Groups.
With a relatively-small budget for travel, office rental, equipment & supplies, and salary & benefits, even a one-person Office of National Traffic Safety Ombudsman — with endless possibilities for internships — could accomplish a lot. A lot more than I would be able to do here in my home in Rocky Mount, North Carolina — a retired home school mom, truck crash survivor, and broken-hearted mother.
Note: And I am not the only one who thinks so! Among others. . .
Bill Bronrott, Media, government & public affairs for healthy, safe & sustainable communities. Past US DOT Appointee, Maryland State Legislator, Congressional Press Secretary, sent out a Tweet last night about the petition:
Roger Lanctot, Associate Director in the Global Automotive Practice at Strategy Analytics, Driverless Policy Making, “I was reading an impassioned letter to the President by Marianne Karth on the issue this morning – impassioned because Karth lost two daughters to a motor vehicle accident involving a truck lacking under-ride protection. . .Karth binds her thoughts into a five-point appeal: ‘Would you (President Obama), in fact, make Traffic Safety a national priority–placing it on the list of important issues listed on whitehouse.gov and then do something about it, e.g., Appoint a Traffic Safety Ombudsman who would oversee all of this and be an Advocate for vulnerable road users (which includes us all) —untainted by political pressures?'”
Neil Arason, Author of ‘No Accident’, and believer in vision zero and the need to re-think everything about our roads, told me this after signing the petition, “I have signed the petition, and have just Tweeted about it. Having a traffic safety ombudsman is such a great idea!“
This last week, I have had several memories of AnnaLeah and Mary take me by surprise with their intensity.
I just now found out that a friend, Billie Mills, passed away in Midland, Texas. I had written her personal and family history up into a book. Hearing about her brought back memories of the ways in which Mary and AnnaLeah had assisted me in the process.
AnnaLeah had suggested the self-publishing company which I used and even the name of my company, Family Jam Jars. They had both done extra chores while I worked on the book and listened to my re-telling of funny stories which I had heard from Billie. Mary went with me when I delivered the newly-published book to Billie on August 23, 2012–the day we were moving away from Texas. Mary used her camera to take pictures of Billie and I.
Earlier in the week, for some reason, I was reminded of the times we had been house hunting here in our new hometown (when we were renting). One house in particular, which we considered buying, had a sun room which we talked about turning into a bedroom for Mary and the dog we were going to get for her (Jim Bob). She had grandiose plans of taking the dog for walks past a nearby mansion which she imagined to be the house of a millionaire with a son of marriageable age to whom she would introduce herself.
Along that line, Mary had great fun imagining her future wedding which she would have at a water park and she and her groom would go down a huge water slide after saying their vows!
Just yesterday, I had a hard moment as I was thinking about some company who will be coming to our house today. They are another home school family from Illinois (heading to Seoul, Korea to be missionaries) with whom one of our family members has become friends. We have never met them but are looking forward to a fun afternoon/evening.
As I was thinking about it, I was gripped with weeping as I imagined how Mary and AnnaLeah might have enjoyed meeting them–with two of the family members being around their ages (what they would have been anyway today). In fact, one of them was actually born on the exact same day that AnnaLeah was — May 15, 1995 — and it takes my breath away when I think how AnnaLeah probably would have enjoyed meeting and getting to know someone born on her birthday.
I’m getting very close to finishing my second quilt from squares of AnnaLeah’s and Mary’s clothes. I am looking forward to seeing it all done and being able to use it and the good memories it will hold. But then it will be done and what will I do that will give me that same catharsis?
I looked at it today and thought about how beautiful it will be when all the individual pieces come together and wished that there was not a reason to create such beauty.
I still have difficult moments periodically when I beg God to make it not be true — because how can it be that AnnaLeah and Mary are really and true not alive anymore?
Jerry and 3 of his daughters, Christmas 2012Jerry, Father’s Day 2016
Dawn King, a friend-because-she-also-lost-a-loved-one-to-a-truck-crash, wrote about the hard time she has had with Father’s Day this year. She wrote about her dad,
I should be able to give him a call, send him a card, even go for a visit. A couple weeks ago I did an interview and at the end the reporter asked me to send her pictures of me and dad. I realized I didn’t really have any of him and me together, just the two of us. I thought to myself that I should get a few taken next time I was home.
When I saw a Tweet the other day quoting Senator Chris Murphy as saying that survivors of the Orlando mass shooting experienced a “second layer of grief” “when they realize that those who expressed sympathy won’t take action,” I could relate to it.
Sen. Chris Murphy: a “second layer of grief” is experienced by survivors who realize that those who expressed sympathy won’t take action.
— Jennifer de Guzman Strikes Again🪲 (@Jennifer_deG) June 15, 2016
Indeed, despite decades of safety advocacy efforts to draw attention to the problem of traffic crash fatalities, too little too late is being done to move us toward zero crash deaths and serious injuries.
I have asked Senator Murphy and Senator Booker to address this problem by championing the cause and setting a national vision zero goal as well as establishing an office of national traffic safety ombudsman (advocate).
As we walked through Battle Park on January 21, 2013, Mary took many pictures with her camera. I recently made a Youtube video with her photos. Not until I watched that video just now did I look more closely to read what was written on one of the headstones which we passed by:
Blessed are the early dead
Oh, Mary! I wonder what you were thinking when you saw that. Tenderhearted girl.
