Gertie was our family’s St. Bernard. She was part of the family when Mary was born and Mary loved her — despite actually being much smaller than Gertie! We lost Gertie when she ran out in the road and got hit by a car while Mary was still a toddler.
Later, Mary had her very own beloved stuffed toy Gertie. It was her sister AnnaLeah’s idea to get Mary a St. Bernard for her four year-old birthday. Mary was delighted and, from then on, Gertie was Mary’s cherished companion — with her to the end.
Gertie reaching for Mary. . . Photoshoot by Mary’s sister Susanna, circa 2010
Gertie is a reminder to us of Mary’s joy and laughter and loving spirit. And now she is a part of Mary’s nephew Romie‘s life — carefully tended to by his parents. And so the joy & belly laughs continue.
Enjoy this glimpse of Life with Gertie.
Gertie was our family’s St. Bernard. Later, our joyful Mary had her very own beloved stuffed toy Gertie, who now keeps her nephew Romie company. And so the joy & belly laughs continue.
Mary’s grandpa, James Oliver Waldron, sings The Teddy Bear Picnic
Mary and AnnaLeah loved preparing for Christmas. Though their absence at this time of year always brings a longing for their presence, it also is full of sweet memories.
One of those memories is how Mary, when she was small, loved to pick out the notes on the piano (she played by ear) for the song, Mary, Did You Know? She thought it was special to have a song with her name. One year, Mary and I sang it together as part of a creative arts presentation at a retirement home.
I will be forever grateful that AnnaLeah and Mary knew the promise which the Christmas story — and this song — held for them.
Lately, I have been thinking about trust and faith and whether one more impact of our truck crash was the gripping awareness of not being able to count on protection from vehicle violence. He is faithful and able to give us the wisdom and know-how to do something about it. But I know full well that the responsibility for making roads safer falls on all of us.
Are we willing to do our part? Will we be faithful to make choices that value human life and health? Where will our feet take us?
After a busy week writing and talking about traffic safety and being encouraged by some things and discouraged by others, it got down to, as always, just plain missing our girls who will never come back–no matter what we do to help others. So, I took some time to search for some video footage and created a new Youtube video of AnnaLeah and Mary dancing from 2005.
Being thankful for the joyful lives they lived. . .
Published on Dec 1, 2016
As He is faithful to us, may we be found faithful in His strength to be vessels of love and peace to those around us — having feet that follow after Him. . . trusting in His steadfast love.
“You Have Been Good” Twila Paris & “Find Us Faithful” Steve Green interpreted by Dance for Jesus, a dance team including AnnaLeah & Mary
I am thankful for the new glasses which were given to me while in the hospital by a local eye care center as mine did not survive the crash. But I am also thankful that those can now be retired since I just got a new pair of glasses. I have graduated from bifocal lens with a line to continuous. Wow! What a difference that makes!
And I am forever grateful that AnnaLeah and Mary had the gift of life — though it was cut short — and that they will live forever in His presence and we will be together again some day.
By the rivers of Babylon, there we sat down and wept, when we remembered Zion.
Upon the willows in the midst of it we hung our harps. . . Psalm 137:1-2
I will give Thee thanks with all my heart; I will sing praises to Thee before the gods. I will bow down toward Thy holy temple, and give thanks to Thy name for Thy lovingkindness and Thy truth; for Thou hast magnified Thy word according to all Thy name. On the day I called Thou didst answer me; Thou didst make me bold with strength in my soul. . .
Though I walk in the midst of trouble, Thou wilt revive me; Thou wilt stretch forth Thy hand against the wrath of my enemies, and Thy right hand will save me. The LORD will accomplish what concerns me; Thy lovingkindness, O LORD, is everlasting; do not forsake the works of Thy hands. Psalm 138: 1-3, 7-8
Mary’s Joy in Simple Things I haven’t had time to look at all of Mary’s 602 photos from October 2011. But when I saw a butterfly the other day on my clothesline, I remembered that I had seen some butterfly photos by Mary.
AnnaLeah’s Imaginative World Found 4 ceramic bear figurines from a set of 24 which the kids played with when they were little. AnnaLeah could spend hours in imaginative play.
(Stepstools made by my dad — one from my childhood and one for his grandkids.)
Rebekah was so excited when John asked her to marry him. Shortly after she became engaged, Rebekah came home from college for a Christmas visit. Her youngest sister, Mary, baked a special multi-layered engagement cake to surprise Rebekah when she arrived from the airport.
While Rebekah was home, we talked about plans for her wedding on May 11, 2013, and practiced making cake pops for their reception. Rebekah asked me to sew her wedding dress, so we also went shopping with her sister, Susanna, to pick out material.
Over the coming months, in the midst of finishing her master’s degree, Rebekah made plans for her wedding in Texas. And I sewed her wedding dress at home in North Carolina. Mary (13) had fun serving as the modelfor her sister’s dress.
I made a small dress out of the leftover material in case Rebekah and John ever had a little girl who might like to play dress-up in a replica of her mother’s wedding dress. And Rebekah’s other sister, AnnaLeah (17), sewed another little bridal dress for their niece, Vanessa, to give her as a birthday present during our trip back to Texas for four college graduations, a wedding, and two birthdays (including AnnaLeah’s 18th birthday on May 15 and Vanessa’s 4th birthday on May 28). Although AnnaLeah was very creative and had sewn many things by hand, this was her first sewing project using a sewing machine, and I was so proud of her.
On May 4, 2013, AnnaLeah, Mary, their brother Caleb, and I started out on a road trip from our home in North Carolina to head for the celebrations in Arlington, Texas. While in Georgia, we came upon slowed traffic for a crash up ahead and a truck hit us in such a way that we were spun around and sent backward into the rear of another truck. The back of the car went under the truck when the underride guard failed to withstand the collision.
AnnaLeah and Mary were in the back seat and died as a result – AnnaLeah at the scene of the crash and Mary a few days later. They never got to see their sister get married. In fact, the family was in much confusion and Rebekah was faced with what to do – deciding that it would honor her sisters to continue with the wedding which she knew her sisters had been looking forward to.
The wedding dress had been damaged in the crash and Rebekah’s church stepped up to get her a new dress to wear. In fact, our family experienced the love and support of being surrounded and supported by many people from around the country. And so the wedding went forward with joy in the midst of sorrow.
In the aftermath, the family has had a long journey of recovering from our loss. Each of us have handled it in our own way. The wedding dress which I had lovingly sewn for my daughter’s special day never served its intended purpose. I had it cleaned and carefully stored. But, for Rebekah, it naturally does not bring to mind cherished memories.
So, when my daughter-in-law suggested that we could donate it to Allison’s Angel Gowns to be re-purposed into bereavement gowns for babies who never go home from the hospital, I cried but immediately felt at peace. At last, the dress would have a purpose in bringing comfort to others who had joined us in our pain of saying good-bye to precious ones gone too soon.
Note: I wrote this yesterday after finding out that Allison’s Angel Gowns would accept Rebekah’s first wedding dress. This is what my daughter-in-law found out for me:
So, I found a few different places that turn wedding gowns into angel gowns for babies who don’t make it out of the hospital. All of the ones that I saw have had a big influx of dresses and weren’t accepting dresses. I emailed them and explained why the dress means so much and the situation that makes getting rid of it important. I got a response back from Allison’s Angel Gowns. Not only would they love to take the dress and turn it into beautiful baby gowns to bless other families, but they would like us to write a letter telling the story so that it can stay with the dress as the dress is passed on to the seamstresses.
After reading what I wrote, I realized that my verb tenses weren’t consistent. But I decided to leave it that way because that is how it is for me — the past, present, and future are all tangled together in my head and heart.
And when I asked Rebekah if it was okay for me to share this story, she said, “You can share. Glad it will serve a purpose.”
I still have many moments when I can’t believe they are really gone. And I cling to anything of theirs. In case you hadn’t noticed, writing about it and them helps me. Sewing quilts with their clothes has been catharthtic.
Just yesterday, I was in a whirl because I had to let go of a car which had been given to us after the crash to replace ours. It recently had an electrical fire and yesterday we found out that the insurance company was totaling it. It is a negative reminder of the crash/loss but it is also a connection to them that will now be gone forever. And a reminder of the many ways in which people reached out to us. I don’t even know how to describe the mess of feelings that produced. LETTING GO. . .
I had one of those clinging moments again today when my son took out some boxes from the shed and asked me if I wanted him to break them down to put in recycling. I said, “No!” — not because the boxes were in great shape but because they were ones which Mary had labeled when we were moving from Texas.
When the crash happened, we were living in a rental house, and exactly two months (the Fourth of July) after the crash, we moved into our present house. That’s when I found those boxes. There were many boxes labeled by her, but these were boxes of her college sister’s clothes left at home, and Mary was being silly and spelling her sister’s name every way she could think of.
That’s Mary for you.
When we know a person, we often know their handwriting. It is a part of them. And I couldn’t bear to throw away that part of her. She will never again write anything — even on a moving box.
I wonder if she would think that I am being silly.
After I finished the second patchwork quilt with squares of clothes worn by AnnaLeah and Mary, Jerry noticed that I didn’t know what to do with myself when sitting and watching TV at night. So he asked if I had enough of their clothes left to make a baby quilt for our grandson. I hadn’t thought that I could make anything else because I knew that there wasn’t enough to make another big quilt.
But that sounded like a good possibility. So I went to the attic and brought down the tub and, sure enough, there were enough pieces of this and that for me to start drawing 4 inch (instead of 10 inch) squares. And I’m looking forward to seeing what I can create with these.
But I will tell you this. . . it isn’t easy to cut up those clothes which they once wore. It is nothing like cutting a piece of material from the fabric store–fresh with possibilities. Every cut stirs up reminders that this was once worn by a living, loving girl who is here no more.
Two years ago, I wrote a facebook post about what ants & cinnamon had taught me about truck crash tragedy and grief. I was reminded of that this morning as our family is, once again, battling a kitchen ant invasion.
Here is the post: Cinnamon & Ants: Making Sense Out Of Tragedy
Ants invaded our kitchen last week–through the windows. We had tried pesticide on the floor by the door the week before and they clearly re-routed.
One morning, when I came out to the kitchen, I discovered over 100 ants marching one by one (boo! boo!).
Now they were tiny and easily squashed with my finger, but they were all over the counter and windowsill and I needed to be doing other things with my time. So I sprayed them with my citrus spray and that took care of those unwelcome invaders.
Of course, they were only the tip of the iceberg. So I. . .
Finished Quilt #2 last night. . . a hand-sewn patchwork quilt. Every square of AnnaLeah’s and Mary’s clothes sewn together by hand and with loving remembrance:
