Last year, I saw this statue of two young girls excited about a butterfly in a jar. It reminded me so much of AnnaLeah and Mary. We decided to get it this year to help us as we remember the 3rd anniversary of our truck crash, on May 4, 2013, which took Mary and AnnaLeah from us.
They were a bit older (though not much), than these girls seem to be, when their lives were frozen in time–with no warning, rhyme or reason. Those of us whom they left behind will continue on with our lives–getting older, making new memories–forced to do so without them joining in.
We will be different than we might have otherwise been if they had not been snatched from us. And they have been robbed of all that might have been. Our two fun-loving, creative and adventurous girls.
Imagine how that unnatural disturbance is taking place all over our country and globe as many lives are unexpectedly and tragically changed forever. 33,000/year traffic crash deaths in the U.S. on average. Year after year.
So. . . my family is planning a special Mother’s Day. It was fun to listen to them plan the menu–homemade carrot cheesecake & strawberry pie, grilled chicken, veggies, rolls–preceded by an outing to see Captain America/Civil War. Looking forward to it.
And I am looking forward to it–figuring, of course, that I will wish AnnaLeah & Mary could be with us to help celebrate and go to the movie with us.
Then, after hearing the grand plans to make it memorable, I suddenly realized that Mother’s Day this year is May 8. The day we lost Mary. . .
This morning, my granddaughter was showing me drawings that she has been making. It made me think of how creative AnnaLeah & Mary were (each in her own way) and the sketchbooks which I have in a drawer. I got one of them out and then was confused: was this drawing made by Mary or AnnaLeah? And when was it made?
As Susanna and I were getting ready to leave Iowa on Saturday, we drove along I-80 headed for the airport–listening to Susanna’s music (and her knowledgeable explanation of the background to many LOTR selections). Didn’t have my camera out but saw corn fields (already cut down) making golden rows amidst a thin layer of snow. Suddenly I saw a hedge of magenta bushes–beautifully set against a stark winter backdrop of white and gray and brown.
Then upon returning home, it unexpectedly snowed here in North Carolina yesterday. Marcus & Vanessa delightedly went out before having breakfast. Marcus asked for a carrot for his snowman’s nose. Just like Mary not so many years before. Should I be surprised that Marcus ate his snowman’s baby carrot nose?!
Vanessa & Marcus also remembered when they ate some flavored snow with Mary back in Texas–a la Little House in the Big Woods. So I fixed them some maple syrup snow today.
Got out a box of winter gear to help keep them warm. When I was putting it away, I noticed that the person who had labeled the box some years ago was none other than Mary. Heart-full memories.
As the memories of past snow fun mingled with present wintry moments, I could not help but sigh deep within and long for a joyful reunion in the future-yet-to-be:
Vision Zero. . . in hopes that others might live out a fuller life.
As Susanna and I were getting ready to leave Iowa on Saturday, we drove along I-80 headed for the airport–listening to Susanna’s music (and her knowledgeable explanation of the background to many LOTR selections). Didn’t have my camera out but saw corn fields (already cut down) making golden rows amidst a thin layer of snow. Suddenly I saw a hedge of magenta bushes–beautifully set against a stark winter backdrop of white and gray and brown.
Then upon returning home, it unexpectedly snowed here in North Carolina yesterday. Marcus & Vanessa delightedly went out before having breakfast. Marcus asked for a carrot for his snowman’s nose. Just like Mary not so many years before. Should I be surprised that Marcus ate his snowman’s baby carrot nose?!
Vanessa & Marcus also remembered when they ate some flavored snow with Mary back in Texas–a la Little House in the Big Woods. So I fixed them some maple syrup snow today.
Got out a box of winter gear to help keep them warm. When I was putting it away, I noticed that the person who had labeled the box some years ago was none other than Mary. Heart-full memories.
As the memories of past snow fun mingled with present wintry moments, I could not help but sigh deep within and long for a joyful reunion in the future-yet-to-be:
Vision Zero. . . in hopes that others might live out a fuller life.
Last night, as I often do, I was looking for some photos or video to create a Youtube and soothe the ache of missing AnnaLeah and Mary. I found a particularly poignant photo of AnnaLeah and another young girl, Bethany, in Michigan on July 30, 2007.
Along with our other kids, they were having some simple water balloon fun. What made it heart-wrenching was that, within 6 short years, they–along with Mary–would lose their lives in crashes.
I put together continuously-snapped photos into a fast-moving slideshow. Laughing & weeping at the result.
As I took photos of Jerry raking pine needles in our backyard today it triggered memories of the good times we had with AnnaLeah and Mary our Last Fall Together–as well as all the other autumns of their short lives.
It brings good but bittersweet memories as I remember all-too-well how they cannot be here at this time in this place to enjoy these moments. They had come with us to tour this house in anticipation of purchasing it the following spring–walking through this backyard which they never got to enjoy as their own.
And then it reminds me why I have thrown myself into this huge endeavor called Safety Advocacy. For some other mom who–I hope–will never know this heartache.
Thinking of families who are missing children who are not with them today. I am thankful that I can search from prior years (my how time passes) to find posts which help me remember the fun times with AnnaLeah and Mary.
My husband has found himself–more than once–looking for a new job due to the economy. We have had to live apart for months at a time while he did contract work in another state, make moves across the country to start over (including selling houses while living apart), worry about the possibility of losing a house, learn how to gracefully be in the position of needing to trust the Lord to take care of all of our needs, and watch our nine children grow and deal with various stages of struggling to obtaining a living wage (including some with disabilities).
Don’t look at the waves; He can sustain you no matter what you are going through. Live. Love. Laugh. Whatever the circumstances. Each day. Pack up your troubles. . .
But, if I could pick my troubles, I would go through those struggles all over again rather than face a lifetime without AnnaLeah and Mary. There are usually alternative solutions and creative ways to survive life’s challenges. Nothing, however, can fix unexpected and irrevocable death due to a preventable crash.
So full of life, snatched from us without any warning. . .
Published on Jul 26, 2013
When we got back home after the crash and were looking through our photo and video files, we found some short video clips of a short story which AnnaLeah had apparently written and which she narrated as Mary acted it out and Susanna filmed it with her digital camera in our backyard in Midland, Texas (circa 2009).
Published on Dec 24, 2013
When Mary was very young, we used to call her www.mlk (wonderful wiggly worm mary lydia karth). She was full of energy and very expressive. It didn’t take much for her to make us laugh or smile.
This two-minute video, where we were packing up to go home after a summer vacation, was one of those times where she amused her older brother without even trying.
Published on Sep 5, 2013
My Favorite Present…Catch a glimpse of AnnaLeah and Mary as they enjoy watching Vanessa open her 3 year-old birthday presents…including books from AnnaLeah (of course!) and an empty plastic Pooh Bear honey jar which Mary had saved for months (knowing Vanessa would like it). Simple things, simply joy…
Published on Oct 27, 2013
Getting our house ready to sell took a lot of work. One day, AnnaLeah worked very hard to trim the new blinds throughout the house (with the help of Jerry & Levi). Mary’s job was to have fun and entertain the rest of us!
Published on Dec 21, 2013
Short video clips of Mary as a Christmas angel in about 2003…in this one she is singing, “Jesus is the Heart of Christmas.”
Published on Dec 21, 2013
Short video clips of Mary as a Christmas angel in about 2003…in this one she asks, “Are we done yet?”
Published on Dec 21, 2013
Short video clips of Mary as a Christmas angel in about 2003…in this one she is a tired angel and counts on her big brother Angel Levi.
Published on Dec 21, 2013
Short video clips of Mary as a Christmas angel in about 2003…in this one she is glad that the program is finally over: Joy to the World!
Published on Nov 20, 2013
Mary and Susanna were in Midland Community Theater’s 2009 production of A Christmas Carol. They had a wonderful time and made lots of friends. This video includes scenes in which Mary participated–and some with Susanna as the blind man’s companion and in the ensemble, as well. Look for Mary’s long, flowing hair and a blue head wrap/scarf…doing a circle dance, as an angel singing…in the crowd of people…Video begins with photos of Mary & Susanna in costume so you can recognize them in the scenes.
Published on Oct 29, 2013
AnnaLeah Builds Her Hobbit Orphanage
AnnaLeah and Levi joined other youth from Grace Lutheran in Midland, Texas, in a servant event. Under the direction of DCE Eaton they thought that they were going to build a storage shed at Camp Lone Star in 2010. AnnaLeah knew that it was really an orphanage for hobbits! See them hard at work in this fast-action short video…
Published on Nov 27, 2013
When I was pregnant with my first baby, I didn’t like the idea of “Rock-a-Bye, Baby” with its line of “Down will come baby…” So I made my own version: “Snuggle now, baby, in Jesus’ arms”…remember AnnaLeah and Mary as smiling and laughing—in this life they had here and imagine them dancing on the streets of pure gold.
Published on Dec 22, 2013
AnnaLeah was 6 & Mary was 2, and they were both water bugs! Our family enjoyed a quiet vacation at a cottage overlooking Lake Michigan.
“Published on Sep 18, 2013
AnnaLeah and Mary participated in Vacation Bible School for many years in Michigan and later in Texas. As they got older, they began helping out in various capacities. The younger kids loved them! When Mary was about 4, she became the mascot for the Construction, INC VBS (Construction In the Name of Christ) and dressed up as Rick the Brick! Here you will see her as Rick the Brick at the beginning and end of the song by that same title. In between, there are just lots of photos of Mary enjoying life and participating in it fully.”
Jerry and I were able to spend some time last week with Sam and Naomi at the cottages on Lake Michigan where our family has enjoyed vacations since Mary was three years-old. Shortly after we arrived, I was overcome with a wave of grief at the thought that here we are where they would no longer ever be again.
Amidst the bittersweet memories, I was able to enjoy the time — what’s not to like about a peaceful time at the shore? The waves crashing. The red hot coals glowing. The wind blowing in the trees. Good fellowship.
In particular though, I was caught up in two memories of Mary and AnnaLeah. The first night, I found a blue ribbon on the beach — buried slightly in the sand and tied to a broken balloon. Of course, it reminded me of the time when Mary — at that very spot in 2010 — had found a Beany Baby Bear on the sand with a green ribbon attached to a balloon.
Later in the week, I found a green ribbon in the sand. So I tied them to a driftwood stick and let them blow in the breeze on the beach.
Also, while there, I noticed that by the “porch swing” was a blooming lilac bush–my favorite spring fragrance. I had never noticed that before because we normally would stay at the cottages the week after Labor Day–when, of course, it wasn’t in bloom. It brought to mind the photos of AnnaLeah which I treasure–sitting in that very swing, looking out at the shore, and building sand castles on the beach.
I put together a Youtube video to capture the essence of the bittersweet memories of AnnaLeah and Mary, which that special place will always evoke in my thoughts and heart.
