Tissue donation was a way that Mary gave to others after her life here was ended. Consider how you might plan to do so as well.
Remembering Mary, Forever 13, Until We Meet Again
We said goodbye to Mary on May 8, 2013.
Remembering Mary–the moments, days and years she was in our life. A photo memorial slideshow lovingly prepared by her brother & sister a few weeks after her untimely death on May 8, 2013.
No Time To Say Goodbye; Breaks My Heart
The truck crash was around 2 in the afternoon on May 4, 2013. AnnaLeah left us right away–no time to say goodbye.
Mary died in the early morning hours of May 8.
Although the nurses I have talked with reassured me that Mary was medicated to be comfortable, it still breaks my heart when I think of what she must have gone through. I have no idea of her level of awareness at any point after the crash. And I am thankful that Jerry and many others were able to be with her–after he was able to get there the next day.
But I was stuck in a hospital two hours from hers. I wish that I could have been there with Mary to comfort her. And say goodbye.
A Low Tolerance For Crash Fatalities
I was up late last night reading a lengthy article about the engineering perspective on automotive safety issues. It was worth the read to find out how “they” think.
From The New Yorker‘s May 4, 2015 edition:
The Engineer’s Lament
Two ways of thinking about automotive safety.
BY MALCOLM GLADWELL
I could quote lots of things from that article, but I will start with this one from David Friedman, Deputy Administrator of NHTSA:
“I would argue that our nation has a low tolerance for fatalities associated with airplanes, the N.H.T.S.A.’s David Friedman told me, when we spoke late last year. In part because of that, fatalities are very, very low from aircraft. Also in part because of that, the F.A.A. has close to fifty thousand employees—an order of magnitude more employees than we do. We have six hundred. To deal with ten thousand people who are dying from drunk driving or ten thousand dying because they didn’t wear a seat belt, or the three thousand dying from distracted driving, or the four thousand dying because they are pedestrians or bicyclists and they are hit by a car. That’s why the Administration has been asking Congress for more resources for us. With more resources, we could save more lives. And each time the answer from Congress has been no. Zero.”
(Don’t forget the four thousand dying per year from truck crashes.)
That’s what I would like to become prevalent in our nation: A Low Tolerance For Crash Fatalities. An Outcry at the Rampant* Carnage on our Roads.
* Flourishing or spreading UNCHECKED
Will longer trucks make the roads safer? Yes OR No?
Thus far, we have not addressed the truck size and weight issue on this website. But it is clearly an issue that needs addressing.
The trucking lobby has once again thrown its weight to sabotage legislative measures meant to improve the safety of travelers on the road. What is their purpose in doing so? Can they back up their claims that the provisions they are backing will make the roads safer and that the measures that they are preventing are unnecessary?
Decide for yourself. . .
Jeff Plungis has once again thoroughly researched and reported on truck safety issues: http://www.bloomberg.com/politics/articles/2015-05-04/trucking-friendly-plan-in-congress-decried-as-attack-on-safety
In particular, I have been looking into the area of increasing truck size and weight. The trucking lobby claims that allowing “Double 33s” will make the roads safer because there will be fewer trucks on the road. And exactly what research have they done to back up this supposition?
Furthermore, has the trucking industry taken steps to provide the necessary additional training for truck drivers who would be handling these bigger trucks? I have had several conversations–in person and via email–with a seasoned trainer of truck drivers. This is what he said last night when I asked him about this concern of mine:
Drivers of modified trucks ( longer trailers or “doubles”) do in fact require additional training. Because of their size, they require a higher level of skill and knowledge. The whole idea of safer roads because of fewer trucks is just a “gimmick”. We need to be careful as we move into this area. If the training requirements are not appropriate, the roads in fact will be more dangerous. (Charlie Gray, Carolina Trucking Academy)
Here are some other articles and research studies on this issue, including evidence of possible failure to maintain lane upon braking:
- Coalition Against Bigger Trucks: http://tinyurl.com/p57kye6
- Copies of Detailed Research on This Issue–including past DOT Reports on Truck Size & Weight: http://www.cabt.org/research
- http://tinyurl.com/myhlr2k: p. iii, “During the fast stops the trailers did not always stop in a straight line and would not always remain in its own lane.”
- http://tinyurl.com/mobyfdo
I’d like to know the answers to these questions. I’d like to know because it could well be a matter of life and death. . .
Sign & Share our Vision Zero Petition: http://www.thepetitionsite.com/417/742/234/save-lives-not-dollars-urge-dot-to-adopt-vision-zero-policy/
Motor vehicle crashes are a leading cause of death—about 40,000 people die in crashes each year. The Department of Transportation makes highway safety rules based upon how much safety measures will cost. We are hoping to change that and move toward a Vision Zero safety strategy model with goals of: Zero Deaths, Zero Serious Injuries, Zero Fear of Traffic.
“Towards Zero – There’s no one someone won’t miss.” https://youtu.be/bsyvrkEjoXI
Two Years After Our Truck Crash: With Hope, We Carry On
It has been two years now since we set out for Texas from our home in North Carolina and unexpectedly “said goodbye” to AnnaLeah and Mary when our trip ended in a horrific truck crash outside Greensboro, Georgia, on May 4, 2013.
Just recently, a memory surfaced of Mary when we lived in Michigan and she was just a little tyke. I was putting one of her Beanie Baby dogs on my bed and it reminded me of when she used to get so excited to see a pug at one of the houses she delivered The Grand Rapids Press to in her section of our family newspaper route. The memory made me smile.
It got me to thinking about memories and what we have left to help us carry on. When we lose someone, perhaps what is initially on our mind is thoughts of how they were at that time when they left us–at that age when they died. AnnaLeah will seem forever 17 to me and Mary forever 13. But my memories of them jump all over the years (depending on what it is that triggers a particular memory).
My heart is full of so many good moments. Even painful or frustrating times (like getting tangles out of long hair or grumpy, girly moods) have a place in my thoughts which make them seem not as bad as they once did and worth going through all over again if only the girls could be back here with us.
It wasn’t my plan to have it be this way–to have those moments come to an end and only be able to carry the girls in my heart as memories from the past. But here I am, learning how to treasure those memories with a grateful heart for the gift Mary and AnnaLeah were and the confident hope of seeing them again.
Tears & smiles mercilessly mingle. Meanwhile, slowly and mercifully, new reasons to live and love and laugh beckon me ever onward.
Remembering AnnaLeah & Mary–the joy & the pain–with hope, we carry on.
Photos & video of our girls set to the song, With Hope, by Steven Curtis Chapman–a dad who wrote this song after his own tragic loss of his youngest daughter.
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=5519704
http://www.mlive.com/news/index.ssf/2008/05/musician_steven_curtis_chapman.html
Let’s Make Sure Hands-Free Driving Technology is SAFE
There have been too many design flaws in vehicles which unknowingly turned minor crashes into DEATH sentences. Let’s make sure that new technologies are SAFE & don’t lead to unforeseen problems. Totally.
Read this on hands-free technology and its legality: http://ht.ly/MrPDt
“We need to figure out how to regulate them in a way that doesn’t stifle innovation with too much red tape but also ensures this technology is safe and is used properly, Mr. Hurin said.”
https://annaleahmary.com/2015/04/careless-attitudes-can-contribute-to-unnecessary-deaths/
Take it seriously; it’s a matter of life & death.
How a Truck Crash Changed the Month of May; or What Happens When Nobody Takes Responsibility?
I used to love May; it was my favorite month with moderate temperatures in my home state of Michigan–freshly-green growth and the sweet fragrance of blossoming trees.
Not so much anymore. When an underride truck crash, on May 4, 2013, robbed my two youngest daughters of life, my pleasure in the month of May quickly dissipated.
And the problem is that it is not just that day–when AnnaLeah died–but the days following May 4 as I learned of her death and recovered in a hospital two hours away from where Mary lay dying in another hospital and our family was scattered around the country struggling to grapple with the terrible tragedy we faced.
Then there came the day when Mary died: May 8, followed by days of planning funerals and headstones and travel arrangements–struggling to strive for normalcy in the celebration of four college graduations and a wedding. We too-quickly faced what would have been AnnaLeah’s 18th birthday on May 15, and not so many days later we gathered together, on May 18, for the first of two funerals for the girls–this time in Midland, Texas.
We went home for the first time since the crash on May 19 –a desolate, empty feeling when we arrived at the house they had left behind expecting to return themselves at about that time, their belongings awaiting the arrival that never happened.
The rest of the month was the beginning of learning to live without them and planning for their second funeral in Grand Rapids, Michigan, on June 8. So, basically, the month has become one reminder after another of what we have lost. Is is any wonder that I no longer look forward to May?
Today for example, is May 2, but it is also the first Saturday in May, which is the day of the week when we started out on our fateful road trip to Texas from North Carolina which ended abruptly (for AnnaLeah and Mary) in Georgia. Even this day has me in turmoil.
The grief is complicated by the many things which I have learned about highway safety and the growing awareness that, way too often, nobody really takes responsibility for the countless and potentially-preventable deaths which occur on the roads of our country year after year.
Until that May, I had never heard of an underride crash–too often due to an underride guard that did not prevent a car from riding under a truck and resulting in horrific injuries and deaths. Recently I have read many reports of the problems with defective cars and the fatal crashes which have occurred as a result. Who takes responsibility for these deaths? And when will they come to an end?
For example, here is a report on recent activity with GM recalls:
“. . . the company took its taxpayer-funded bailout agreement and turned it around on millions of consumers unlucky enough to own compact cars with ignition switch defects who had accidents before July 10, 2009, the date when the agreement became effective. Invoking a liability shield negotiated by the Obama administration,GM won a ruling from a bankruptcy judge that is now on appeal, avoiding billions in damages for injuries, deaths, and the lost resale values of vehicles with the defect. The judge took the view that when the ‘old GM’ went bankrupt, the ‘new GM’ got a fresh start, even though all but 15 of the executives and managers involved in the ignition switch fiasco remain ensconced in the company’s iconic skyscraper in Detroit. GM won this counter-intuitive relief even though a report it commissioned from former U.S. Attorney Anton Valukas revealed that senior executives knew about the problem as early as 2005 but dragged their feet on notifying consumers until 2014. ‘Although everyone had responsibility to fix the problem, nobody took responsibility,’ he wrote.” http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rena-steinzor/gm-and-its-no-good-very-bad_b_7191124.html
“Why Not Jail? makes a compelling argument for criminal prosecutions of executives who tolerate noncompliance and endanger public health and the environment.’” http://www.acslaw.org/acsblog/white-collar-crime-and-justice
Urgent – Contact Senators Now to Oppose Dangerous Double 33’s
Here is a way that you can help now. It has come to my attention from the Truck Safety Coalition:
Congress Must Do All It Can To Improve Truck Safety And Keep Our Roads Safe For Our Families – Increasing Truck Lengths Will Not Do That!
“Companies like FedEx are pushing Congress hard to allow double 33’ tractor trailers. The House Transportation, Housing and Urban Development (THUD) Appropriations bill, released this week, contains provisions to allow these deadly double 33’ tractor trailers on federal and local roads. We must do everything we can to prevent this from happening in the Senate so that we have a fighting chance as the bill moves towards a conference between the House and Senate.
Please take the time to contact the following Senators – it does not matter if you are from their state – either by phone or email, and urge them to resist special interest attempts to allow this dangerous legislation to the THUD FY16 Appropriations bill OR during the long-term surface transportation reauthorization process. Just identify yourself as a Volunteer for the Truck Safety Coalition.
Note: Only Senator Tester actually serves on the Senate Appropriations Committee. The others all serve on the Senate Commerce Committee, which is the authorizing committee that should be examining this type of policy fully and before the public before it gets slipped into an appropriations bill.
Contact Information:
- Senator Amy Klobuchar (MN); Staff: Danny Carlson, danny_carlson@klobuchar.senate.gov : 202-224-3244
- Senator Joe Manchin (WV); Staff: Wes Kungel, wes_kungel@manchin.senate.gov : 202-224-3954
- Senator Gary Peters (MI); Staff: Sydney Paul, sydney_paul@peters.senate.gov : 202-224-6221
- Senator Jon Tester (MT); Staff: Justin Folsom, justin_folsom@tester.senate.gov : 202-224-2644
Talking Points:
- Every year on average 4,000 people are killed in truck crashes in the U.S. and another 100,000 are injured.
- According to 2012 U.S. Department of Transportation (U.S. DOT) data, fatality figures have increased for the fourth year in a row—a 17 percent increase in truck crash deaths since 2009.
- The annual cost to society from crashes involving Commercial Motor Vehicles (CMVs) is estimated to be over $99 billion.
- The proposed 33-foot double-trailer trucks are 10 feet longer than the trailers they would replace and are 17 feet longer than the 53-foot single-trailer trucks on the road today.
- If passed, the proposed legislation allowing these trucks would override the laws of many states.
- Public opinion polls are clear and consistent – Americans strongly oppose bigger trucks.
- Longer Trucks Will Be More Dangerous to Motorists, Motorcyclists, Bicyclists and Pedestrians
- Longer Trucks Will Result in Increased Costs to Tax Payers – We lack the resources to appropriately maintain and replace our infrastructure. The Highway Trust Fund is now projected to go broke in fiscal year 2014. State highway departments are also running out of money for key highway projects. Cities and schools across the U.S. are forced to cut budgets to do more with less.
- This type of broad policy change has no place in the appropriations process and should be properly vetted and debated through the committee authorization process.
- Safety must remain a priority in the next surface transportation reauthorization and in any extension of the current bill.
- Congress Must Do All It Can To Improve Truck Safety And Keep Our Roads Safe For Our Families – Increasing Truck Lengths Will Not Do That!”
Same Old, Same Old: Trucking Safety Debates Impact Spending Bill
When the trucking industry uses the appropriations bill process to sway votes, what do you think is their primary motivation: Safety or Profit?
See what you think:
“Foxx said Republicans are conducting an end run around the normal legislative process by including the trucking provisions in his agency’s funding bill.
What’s happening is the appropriations process is now being used to create policy, which, when it comes to safety, that’s a real problem because it leaves us without a process with which we can articulate the concerns we have, he said. You can expect us to be very vocal about these issues, and my hope is that folks won’t only reconsider the merits of some of the issues, but also some of the processes that some of these issues are dealt with, because there’s a much better process available.
The trucking industry offered a starkly different perspective, saying the provisions that are included in the THUD bill have been on Congress’s agenda for a long time.
These issues have been debated for years, American Trucking Association spokesman Sean McNally told The Hill on Wednesday morning, noting that lawmakers will be holding a hearing on the appropriations bill in the afternoon.
They’re the same issues we’ve been talking about for years, and now we’re going to talk about them again, he said.
McNally added the appropriations bill is fair game for the trucking provisions because it is a piece of legislation that is moving through Congress.
We obviously take a different view of the safety ramifications of these provisions, he said, describing the changes as a number of things we believe will increase output and safety.” http://thehill.com/policy/transportation/240453-gop-spending-bill-reignites-trucking-debate
Sounds good, but just exactly how will their actions increase SAFETY? That is what I want to know.
