Category Archives: AnnaLeah and Mary

The anger and frustration in the aftermath of a truck crash are not easily resolved.

UPDATE August 2, 2016. PLEASE sign & share the Petition to President Obama to appoint an advocate — a Traffic Safety Ombudsman — to fight for safer roads:   http://www.thepetitionsite.com/384/321/600/end-preventable-crash-fatalities-appoint-a-national-traffic-safety-ombudsman/

So what does a person do with the anger and frustration which inevitably surface in the aftermath of a truck/car crash fatality (or case of serious life-altering injuries)?

That’s what I would like to know because I have experienced it and have observed others — in similar situations — dealing with it as well. And it is not your normal grief (if anything can be called that). Because, in addition to the loss one has experienced, one also often discovers that perhaps the loss was unnecessary — but nothing (or too little or too late) was done to prevent it. Imagine your reaction to that situation.

Then too often one might discover that, not only was nothing done in the past that could have prevented one’s loss, but, on top of that, there continues to be nothing tangible done to prevent future crash fatalities and serious injuries. What then? How would you deal with the feelings upon that realization?!

Indeed, despite decades of safety advocacy efforts to draw attention to the problem of traffic crash fatalities, too little too late is being done to move us toward zero crash deaths and serious injuries.

When I saw a Tweet the other day quoting Senator Chris Murphy as saying that survivors of the Orlando mass shooting experienced a “second layer of grief” “when they realize that those who expressed sympathy won’t take action,” I could relate to it.

And besides which, it turns into not just a matter of struggling with trying to forgive but an intense conviction that there is a good chance that wrongdoing was involved. Wrongdoing for which there is apparently no genuine accountability or liability. Because if there were, then wouldn’t we see change?

Just yesterday, I read a facebook post by a man who had lost his wife in a truck crash and whose son became permanently disabled from that same crash. Most days, the dad is upbeat and handling the hardship of his new life with grace. But at that moment, it seemed like he was experiencing the straw that broke the camel’s back. He confessed that, at that moment, he was feeling anger towards and hatred for the truck driver responsible for the crash.

The truth is that, probably in most truck crashes (and other traffic-related crashes), there usually are multiple factors which have led to the initial collision as well as the final outcome. And the sad fact is that, too often, the tragedy could have been avoided.

Our Crash Was Not An Accident

Are we doing enough, as a nation, to work on solutions to those things which could be prevented? I don’t think so and I have been calling for our leaders to adopt a National Vision Zero Goal, to set up a National Vision Zero Task Force, to adopt Vision Zero rulemaking policies, and to appoint a National Traffic Safety Ombudsman.

SIGN THE PETITIONhttp://www.thepetitionsite.com/384/321/600/end-preventable-crash-fatalities-appoint-a-national-traffic-safety-ombudsman/

The opposition to the requirement and manufacture of the safest possible underride protection on trucks is an example of something which could have been taken care of a long time ago but instead is a problem for which there has not been a truly effective solution–in fact it seems to have been deliberately opposed or at least not made a priority to get to the bottom of and resolve.

A few days ago, I went on a walk in the woods and shared my thoughts spontaneously on this matter:

Do these situations make it harder to arrive at the forgiveness discussed by one writer? Forgiveness is one thing. But when there is no tangible change, and my button is repeatedly pushed, then, of course, frustration and therefore anger wells up over and over again. And that certainly is not healthy–not for the victim’s family and not for those whose actions contributed to the deaths.

Trucker in Massive Rig Destroys Two Families in His Sleep

Mom Takes on Truckers After Highway Wreck Kills Daughters

I wrote about what it was like to face the truck driver whose actions led to our daughters’ deaths: The Court Hearing; Update On Our Trip To Georgia

Now I am struggling with this question for myself: Can my anger at the injustice of criminal negligence (as well as the continued inadequate resolution of countless Traffic Safety Issues) ever be fully resolved if the negligence is not acknowledged, punished, or made right?

Meanwhile, I keep pressing on seeking to make the roads safer — as in our pursuit of better underride guards and my hopes of organizing a Tired Trucker Roundtable.

John Ball Zoo
How am I supposed to stop being angry as long as the problems which caused the deaths of AnnaLeah (17) and Mary (13) — and shattered our family — continue on?

“Critics Say Underride Fix Will Do Little to Curb Deadly Hazard” As controversy continues, so do deaths.

FairWarning.org’s reporter, Paul Feldman, reports on the deadly underride problem and the controversy over how to solve it:

Critics Say Underride Fix Will Do Little to Curb Deadly Hazard by Paul Feldman, June 23, 2016

Meanwhile, as the discussion continues, people all over the world die every day because their vehicle is not prevented from riding under a truck. Just like AnnaLeah. Just like Mary.

If onlyNegotiated Rulemaking

There will be a meeting on June 24, at IIHS in Arlington, VA, with some of the participants from the Underride Roundtable, attempting to hammer out a better solution.

 

 

 

Piecing Together Bittersweet Memories

I’m getting very close to finishing my second quilt from squares of AnnaLeah’s and Mary’s clothes. I am looking forward to seeing it all done and being able to use it and the good memories it will hold. But then it will be done and what will I do that will give me that same catharsis?
 
I looked at it today and thought about how beautiful it will be when all the individual pieces come together and wished that there was not a reason to create such beauty.
 
Quilt and Father's Day 010 Quilt and Father's Day 012 Quilt and Father's Day 014 Quilt and Father's Day 008 Quilt and Father's Day 006 Quilt and Father's Day 004 Squares laid outCandelaria 3
AnnaLeah on a mission trip in Candelaria.
Candelaria 1 Candelaria 2

The Father’s-Day-Pain From a Loss That Could Have Been Prevented

I still have difficult moments periodically when I beg God to make it not be true — because how can it be that AnnaLeah and Mary are really and true not alive anymore?

If onlyIMG_4465

12d Christmas 2012 Rocky Mount 065
Jerry and 3 of his daughters, Christmas 2012
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Jerry, Father’s Day 2016

 

Dawn King, a friend-because-she-also-lost-a-loved-one-to-a-truck-crash, wrote about the hard time she has had with Father’s Day this year. She wrote about her dad,

I should be able to give him a call, send him a card, even go for a visit. A couple weeks ago I did an interview and at the end the reporter asked me to send her pictures of me and dad. I realized I didn’t really have any of him and me together, just the two of us. I thought to myself that I should get a few taken next time I was home.

And then I remembered. Again. I have to keep remembering over and over and it’s just as painful each time. Nothing left to add this Father’s Day

Dawn was interviewed for this video while at a Truck Safety Coalition conference in May 2013 (while our crash took place):

 

More information on Underride & the World Forum for Harmonization of Vehicle Regulations

That’s exciting. I woke up to a comment on our website related to my post about the World Forum for Harmonization of Vehicle Regulations.

Here’s the comment:

The United States has been involved with WP.29 since its inception; however, the Forum originally focused on developing standards for Europe. It has only been a truly global effort since the late 1990’s. The US (NHTSA and the EPA) has been a major contributor to international research and development efforts, but when it comes to specific regulations, the US legal system operates under different principles from Europe.

The US was the first nation to set up a regulatory system for vehicle safety. Ralph Nader and others saw the issue as one of consumer protection and product liability while Europe later addressed safety more as an engineering and product certification issue. As a result, we have two main approaches (self-certification and type approval) and there are two international agreements (1958 and 1998) to allow for uniform regulations. Under the 1998 Agreement, WP.29 establishes Global Technical Regulations (GTR) that can be used under any system. (UN Regulations can only be used under a type approval system.) So at the international level, a state-of-the-art standard for rear underrun protection would involve looking at the current regulations in use around the world to see if the harmonization of requirements through a GTR would be practicable and beneficial. John Creamer, globalautoregs.com

John Creamer is the founder of GlobalAutoRegs.com and a partner in The Potomac Alliance, a Washington-based international regulatory affairs consultancy. In his client advisory role, Mr. Creamer is regularly involved with meetings of the UN World Forum for the Harmonization of Vehicle Regulations (WP.29). Previously, he has held positions with the US International Trade Commission and the Motor & Equipment Manufacturers Association (representing the US automotive supplier industry), as the representative of the US auto parts industry in Japan, and with TRW Inc. (a leading global automotive safety systems supplier).

I just emailed John to see what else I can find out from him about this possibility for world-wide collaboration on improving protection against deadly underride. Stay tuned.

(Just so long as it does not get in the way of forward progress meanwhile!)

Negotiated Rulemaking

In memory of AnnaLeah and Mary (and so many others). . .

Never forgotten

“Blessed are the early dead”. . . photo taken in 2013 by Mary of an infant’s headstone

As we walked through Battle Park on January 21, 2013, Mary took many pictures with her camera.  I recently made a Youtube video with her photos. Not until I watched that video  just now did I look more closely to read what was written on one of the headstones which we passed by:

Blessed are the early dead

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Oh, Mary! I wonder what you were thinking when you saw that. Tenderhearted girl.

A Walk Through the Woods; A photo story from Mary’s camera. It is well with my soul.

Mary loved to capture every moment on her camera–from the mundane to the amazing. That included our walk on the trails of Battle Park on a beautiful day in January 2013 in her new home of Rocky Mount, North Carolina.

Mary’s photo story of the walk with her sister, AnnaLeah, dad, and mom is set to Horatio Spafford’s well-known hymn, “It Is Well With My Soul.” Fitting in so many ways. Peace like a river attendeth my soul.

Photography by Mary Lydia Karth (with a few by her mom as well):

When Peace Like a River; It is well with my soul

A new day. Full of so many possibilities. What will it bring?

It’s a new day.

New day 001New day 002

Full of possibilities.

Garden 001New day 003

 

What will it bring? What does He have in store for me?

New day 005Bear one another's burdens 008

Looking forward to being a part of it.

America, are we doing all we can to save our loved ones? Before it’s too late. They never come back.

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AnnaLeah. . . still waters run deep.

Crash Deaths

America, are we doing all we can to save our loved ones? Before it’s too late. Because they never come back.

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Mary. . . always a character.

There’s no one someone won’t miss.

Towards Zero Crash Deaths

“Stifled Grief: How the West Has It Wrong”

Stifled Grief: How the West Has It Wrong Huff Post (Common Grief) Michelle E. Steinke Founder/CEO – One Fit Widow, My 1 Fit Life,

It is my grief — my ongoing heartfelt loss —  which compels me to ask these questions.

CBA Victim Cost Benefit Analysis Victim

Is Cost/Benefit Analysis Appropriate for Life & Death Matters? Were their lives worth saving?